Why Some People Feel Ageless - and Others Feel Just Plain Old

Have you ever noticed that some people older than you energize you - and some much younger drain you?

It's something I've bee thinking about lately. I've had conversations with "elderly" women that left me feeling lit up, and alive, like I could take on the world in good lipstick and a killer handbag. And I've also had coffee chats with women decades younger who somehow managed to age the entire room with what I call old speak.

What is old speak you might wonder?

It's the language of limitation.
Of resignation.
Of smallness and "shoulds."

It's the sigh that says " Well, at our age ... or "I guess I've missed my chance." It's the offhand "What can you do?" as if dreams come with expiry dates. It's the passive surrender to a shrinking life - before life has even asked you to shrink. 

Old speak isn't about age. It's about attitude. 

I've met vibrant women in their 80's who are still curious, creative, planning adventures, taking up new hobbies, flirting with life. And I've met women in their 30's who already sound like they've checkout out of joy. 

Here's the truth I've come to believe.
Chronological age is just a measure of time. Emotional age is how you carry it.

I try never to use old speak - not because I'm in denial about aging, but because I refuse to live in denial about what's still possible. 

I want to live spaciously, with room for newness. I want to stay surprised by life, open to delight, willing to grow and yes - unapologetically visible.

So no, I don't need to talk about my aches and pains, unless you really want to hear about them (and even then, I'll wrap it in a story and a smile). I don't want to compete in the "who's more tired" Olympics. And I definately don't want to declare myself too old for anything I still secretly dream about. 

Let's retire old speak at every age.

Let's speak in ways that invite vitality, curiosity, and connection. Let's be the kind of women who make people lean in, not shrink back. Let's remind each other that age is not a sentence - it's a season. 

And we get to choose how we live it.

 Copyright: Helene Oseen 2025