What Not to Wear

Clothes aren’t going to change the world. The women who wear them will. 

—Anne Klein 

Not everything we wear shows up in the mirror. Some of the heaviest things we carry never even hang in our closet. Over the years I’ve learned that style isn’t just about what you put on, it’s also about what you take off. And sometimes the most freeing thing you can do for yourself is to stop wearing the things that weigh you down. 

For starters, let go of the guilt of your past. We’ve all done it—hung onto something we no longer love. Maybe it was a jacket that cost too much, a decision you wish you could redo, or even a relationship you stayed in long after you knew it was over. But guilt? Guilt has no place in a wardrobe, or in a life meant for joy. You’ve already paid the price, whether in money, emotion, or years of second-guessing.

That’s enough.
You don’t have to carry it anymore.
Let it go.
Let yourself off the hook.
You get to choose what comes next. 

And then there’s the pressure to prove yourself. Oh, I know this one well. For years, I dressed to impress.

To look polished.
To appear desirable.
To be taken seriously.

Maybe you’ve done it too—bought things you didn’t need just to feel like you fit in or tried on outfits that made you look the part but never truly felt like you. Here’s the thing: if you’re dressing to prove something, you’ll always feel like you’re falling short, because there will always be another “should,” another “not quite enough.” What if, instead, you dressed simply to feel like you? What if you stopped performing and started showing up as yourself? Confidence doesn’t come from the perfect outfit; it comes from no longer needing one to feel enough. 

And finally, stop wearing the weight of other people’s expectations. Here’s a little secret: most people aren’t paying that much attention to what you’re wearing. They’re too busy worrying about themselves. So why on earth are we still dressing for their approval? Why do we let invisible standards and imagined judgments steer our choices? Your style doesn’t need permission. Your life doesn’t need consensus. The moment you stop carrying the burden of what others might think, you’ll feel lighter. Freer. More like yourself. 

Because here’s the truth: wearing these emotional weights is wearing you down. You don’t need them anymore. You can stop now. Instead, wear what makes you feel radiant. Live in the clothes—and the life—that feel real. Be the woman you are, not the one they expect you to be. And if anyone ever asks how you manage to look so confident, so pulled together, so alive? Just smile and tell them, “I stopped dressing for who I was and started dressing for who I’ve become.” 

And here’s the beautiful thing: once you shed what no longer fits, not just in your closet, but in your heart, you open space for something greater. You’ll find yourself ready to step into the next chapter, where style is no longer about clothes at all.

It’s about choosing to love your life.